tailspin

Pictures still wn't load for me. Blogger and Yahoo are both being stupid lately (no offense blogger).

Another friend is preggo w/o trying. I found out yesterday and it sent me for a tailspin. I was late for a playdate so I had to slap myself around a little (not literally) and get it together to go. I got to the playdate house and the Mom ends up telling me she just got post partum AF and figures she'll be preggo again by New Years. She has a 2.5 y.o.and a 10 month old.

I believe this is some sort of cruel joke on me. Seriously, before I started trying I knew maybe one or two people who were or who got preg. Then a few months into trying it started as a baby boom around me. Seriously, if you want to get pregnant just send me an email because everyone else around me is and if you contact me it probably will happen for you right away. Maybe it's just contact with me that makes all these people get preg w/o trying or on first try. I'm trying to remain positive and relax and all the other annoying advice people have given me but really I just want to scream and yell and punch something (or someone maybe). I want to tell the world to go to hell and crawl under a rock and cry for hours all alone, but I don't and I can't so I put one foot in front of the other and take each day as it comes.

I am fertile right now, my OPK says so. I am hopeful and trying to use Heater's suggestion of affirmations and visualization to help me. I keep telling myself that this is the month and everything is coming together perfectly. TG Curt's travel was postponed until next week. We are both healthier than we have ever been and our relationship is super strong (as always). Curtis is growing like a weed and is lots of fun right now. My life is pretty great aside from the fact that I very much want to grow my family right NOW! Yes, patience is not my strength, and the fact that the entire female population around me is concieveing children left and right regardless of effort or readiness does not help my mental state at all.

Are you bored with me yet? I certainly am. We're going to a Fall festival today in Winter Park, FL even though it is cloudy and rained all last night. Who needs the sun when there is a famer's market and pumpkin patch to be explored?

T