Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Happy Belated Memorila Day

We had a fun weekend, did you? We washed all of our cars, went to a memorial day parade, did some yard work and gardening, and ate some Mexican food (I know that's not too patriotic but it's the perfect thing to eat in this Florida heat).

I don't know if I posted here that my Mom got a new car and offered me her old one. I had a '97 Taurus and her's is a '99 so we said sure. Once I sell the '97 the deal is that I give her the money we get. They weren't gonna get much on the trade in so they came up with this win/win idea. It was a nice thing for them to do and I got a nice upgrade of two years and about 25K miles. So we washed all the cars since we needed to get the green one ready for selling. Washing cars isn't too bad when you do it together on a hot day. Even Curtis got in on the action.

Sanford, FL had a nice Memorial day parade yesterday. It was great free family entertainment and Curtis got some cool treats. He got some candy (really for Mommy), a couple pencils, and a frisby (really for Sebastian the dog). He really seemed to enjoy seeing all the police cars and floats.

I am feeling yucky today due to AF. She gave me a week of terrible PMS (panic attacks from hell) and finally showed up yesterday afternoon. I feel weak and my belly is weird. I'm off to make some iced raspberry leaf tea to enjoy this afternoon when Curtis wakes up.


Friday, May 26, 2006

back to normal????

Well, I dropped my Mom off at the airport yesterday. Now things are sorta of back to normal. Curt took a half day today because we are going to a birthday/pool party for Curtis' best buddy Adam who turns 2 this weekend. Yipee, pizza and cake and swimming. Curt also has Monday off so this will be a nice long weekend.

Having my mom here was great and also stressful. She was very helpful with Curtis and around the house. The stress part came from the fact that we usually get along so well but I felt definite tension this time. We had a big blow out fight last November and this is the first time I've seen her since then, so I figure that must be part of the reason. It made me sad and stressed me out and no matter what, whenever I see my parents I always have days of reverberating sadness afterwards. Not sadness that I miss them, but sadness that my childhood was what I consider to be bad. They won't agree with me but I do feel that we were all emotionally abused (and some physical) by my Dad and I personally think my Mom is the poster child for denial. Now she gets all weird if I even mention something bad about my father. My guess is that she would feel guilty if she had to admit that she let her children stay in a house with an abusive father. Their denial caused me such mental anguish for years because I thought maybe they were right. Now I feel sure that his actions and words were not right and were not loving and good for us kids. I still feel an overwhelming need for them to admit this, and I don't know why since I know they probably never will. I also feel an overwhelming sadness that I don't get to have a Daddy who can love me like he should.

Oh well, now I'm sad. Here's a cute recent pic of my little man.


Wednesday, May 17, 2006

hello again

Here we are on the Wednesday before mother's day.

My mother is coming to visit for a week starting tomorrow. I do have to finsh cleaning up but thought I should update because I've been blog lazy lately.

Mother's day was nice except we are all sick. I got sick on Thursday night. I think Curtis already was sick and now Curt has it too. The congestion is just lingering and driving me nuts. I blow my nose and cough about a million times a day and have to wipe Curtis' nose a lot too. He absolutely hates having his nose or face wiped. It sends him into back arching hysterics.


Monday, May 08, 2006


I've been MIA for no good reason. Well, I did try to post once and DH was downloading a huge file so I got tired of waiting for the window to open and gave up. So, we'll just make this easy and blame it on him!

We had a talk recently about our relationship because I was feeling like it was falling off track. I guess maybe sometimes we just need to talk about what is bothering us so we can get it out and over with. Things are better now, not perfect, but better.

Curtis was terrible at library story time this morning and I don't think I should take him to the library at all anymore. He threw fit after fit and ran right into a glass wall and fell down screaming at one point. I had to abandon my purse and books and take him outside to calm him down. He's in rare form today and I'm over it. He hits me when I don't let him have his way, and while it doesn't hurt, I do worry about his tendency towards violence. Maybe it's just a toddler thing, but you know how it is with FTM's, we always worry that our kid is turning into a psycopath.

Well, I'm off to find some non computer activity.