Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Spring Break Beach Vaca

So I've been busy with other things the past two weeks and haven't posted the photos from our Spring Break vacation at Melbourne Beach, FL. We found the hotel through a recomendation from a friend of mine from church and it was darn near perfect for us. The boys didn't mind sleeping on the pull out sofa at all so Curt and I got a King sized bed with ocean view all to ourselves! Both boys were so well behaved and we all had such a fun time on the beach and in the hotel pool and hot tub. The ocean was still a little too cold to actually swim in, although crazy Curt couldn't help but take one dip, but we didn't feel like we were missing out on it at all since we were so busy enjoying the rest of the activities.

When we left the beach we drove over and spent the day at the Brevard Zoo. This zoo is much bigger and nicer than our local Cen FL zoo and we had a great time there together. The boys each picked out a stuffed giraffe as a souvenir and two weeks later they still both ask to sleep with 'Tip Top' and 'High Top' the giraffes.

All in all I'd say it was a big success as our first family vacation with all four of us and we definitely are planning more at this same hotel in the near future.

Here are some photos for you to enjoy.



Clark practicing in the room.




"What do you mean the sofa turns into our bed?"




Clark loves the beach!




Here we are relaxing in the room with lunch after a morning on the beach.




Curt buried the boys in the sand much to their delight.




The smiles on our faces say it all! I love the beach almost as much as I love my family!

Friday, April 23, 2010

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Friday, April 16, 2010

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual stolen from Soulemama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Love (and Fear) of Motherhood



There is an anxiety that grows over me, like a shadow that tilts and widens as the sun goes down. When my children were babies I thought that my anxieties about them would go away with time, and yet that has proven to be untrue. As I find myself waking in a sweat from a nightmare about my poor little boys being hurt in a terrible accident, I begin to realize just how deep my love and fear for them has grown.

Really the growing depth of my love for them echoes the growing fear I have for their safety. I find myself staying home so as to avoid stress-filled wrestling matches with 5 year old in hand and 2 year old on hip in crowded busy parking lots. I feel my teeth clench and my shoulders rise up to my ears as my eyes dart to and fro at the playground trying to follow the impulses of two young boys surrounded by such fun, and dangerous, equipment. Even when we stay home, I find myself calculating the damage done to their little growing brains from each moment of time spent in front of the TV or video game system. I count how many servings of fruits and veggies they have consumed and give myself extra 'good-mother' points if they were raw. I beat myself up for being anything less than engaging and present with them every moment of everyday, knowing all along that these expectations of myself are impossible.

As time goes on, this creeps into my subconscious, and the dreams get scarier and even my daydreams seem to have taken on a rather scary and obsessive quality. If my child was a newborn, or perhaps even 6-12 months old, I'm sure a doctor would diagnose me with postpartum depression, but alas, my children are now considered a toddler and a preschooler and this overwhelming fear must be something more than fluctuating hormones and breastfeeding surges.

I can't honestly blame this on the 'Mommy-wars' or the judgment of my peers either. I find myself surrounded by supportive and like-minded women for the most part, and I think most of the judgment I am feeling is coming from within. I don't pretend to be a psychologist, and I'm certainly not going to expound on any number of reasons why I might believe that I have become to doubt my own value and ability as a mother, but it does seem that I subconsciously don't feel that I am measuring up to my own expectations.

What I do know is that I care and I try and I love. I wish that was good enough for that inner critic. I wish that I could put my life and the lives of my children fully in God's hands. I wish it was easier for me to focus on the successes instead of the failures. So I'm putting this out there. My revelation for the night is that I can now see that this stress/fear/anxiety has reached a level that I am not comfortable with. I know that there is nothing false about hope and I will continue to hope for relief.

Friday, April 09, 2010

{this moment}

{this moment} inspired by Soule Mama- A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Friday, April 02, 2010

Easter Bunny!

There is a local community Spring egg hunt right outside of our neighborhood that we try to go to every year since Curtis loves a good egg hunt.




This year it was a little stormy out, but we headed out anyway and got about an hour of good Spring fun in before the rains came.



Curtis has never ever been shy with the bunny or Santa or any characters he has ever met.



Unfortunately I can't say the same for Clark. LOL!

I love Spring and Easter time so much. The weather here is beautiful 90% of the time and we have so much fun family time planned.

Stay tuned for more posts which will include but not be limited to a beach vacation, Easter on a friend's mini-farm, and Kindergarten registration!!!!