Thursday, October 05, 2006

oh no

Last month I got a feeling about a week and a half before AF was due that I wasn't preg. Just this evening I had that same feeling. An overwhelming disappointing saddness where I feel like I just know it didn't happen. I don't want to let it get me down but the truth is it does. I feel so low now because I told myself I'd trust my intuition this month. This is the first time this month that I've acutally thought about how it would feel to not be preg again and it's a bit overwhelming. I wonder if it ever gets easier. I wonder what we're doing wrong since my cycles are so regular and we time BD so right. I wonder why I'm so invested in this mentally when logically I know it will be ok if it waits a few more months to happen. I am a SAHM and I feel bored and I feel like I've invested so much in getting preg again that every month that it doesn't happen just leaves me with more time to wonder what's worng and what I should be doing abou it.
Just some overwhelming thougts. Thanks for letting me vent.

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