Tuesday, November 21, 2006


Thanks for all of the comments you guys. I know I sound like I'm giving up but that is the only way for me to survive the holidays right now. This is a tough time of year and I won't go into the reasons in case I offend a reader, but I'm struggling with bad memories from my past right now. I don't need added stress and disappointment of trying so hard for something and not getting it. I am not spoiled I swear. You can only understand if you've been throught this. I never understood what people were talking about before because Curtis came so easily for us. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won't. The fact is that being optimistic did nothing but make the pain worse so I really do feel like pessimism will help me. I really think we have a very slim shot so if it does happen I will be happily surprised, but if it doesn't I won't be excuriciatingly let down. I hope that makes sense.

I have got to go write or I'll get behind. I'm on schedule to finish my novel this week!!!


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