{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Wishing you a lovely weekend!

Haircuts

So my little long haired hippie boys were definitely due for a hair cut today. With lolly pops in hand we undertook the task.



Curt and I tag teamed the actual cutting because it seemed to work best that way.



This 'before' photo of Clark shows just how adorable he is on a regular basis.







And these boys got really lucky when the ice cream truck came by just as we were finishing the last of Curtis' hair. After the torture that is a haircut for these boys I had no problem splurging on the $1 ice cream sandwiches.

Pre-K Graduate

That's right, we have an official Pre-K graduate in the house. Curtis' school had their graduation and moving up ceremony this past weekend and we had a blast. I almost cannot believe that my first born son is going to Kindergarten in just a few short months.


Here's the happy family on the big day.




Curtis with his diploma.




Here's a photo of the whole class at the Complete Soccer Academy preschool.



Curtis has now completed two years at the CSA and their play based learning system has really worked well for him. We couldn't have been happier with all that he has grown with the help of the teachers here.

The Ghosts of Home Improvements Past

You may remember a long time ago when we painted our kitchen cupboards. Well, we had a little bit of that special paint left over and kept saying we would do the same thing in our guest bath. So, here it is about a year later, and we finally got around to it.

The thing about this job wasn't that it was hard, it was just harder to do with little kids around. So, you may ask why we didn't just do it after putting these little kids to bed. Well, this bathroom is right next to the boys bedroom and any kind of work in there really stressed me out about waking them up. The truth is that both boys could probably sleep through a train coming through the house, but by the end of the day the last thing I want to do is work on home improvements and risk waking sleeping children. So in other words, the room being next to their bedroom became a pretty good excuse to not do the job. Eventually we decided to enlist the help of some great babysitters and got it done in an afternoon (and then celebrated with sushi!).

Once again I forgot to take a before photo (see a trend here?). But I did remember to snap one once the doors were already off, so you can kind of get a mental picture of how it looked. This bathroom is very late 70's in decor, which is fitting since the house was built in 1977.



I think the cream colored cupboards really clean the look of the bathroom up a lot and even make it look a little more modern.



That is one of the few projects that I have been up to lately. I'm sure several of them were blog-worthy, but I just haven't been into blogging much. I'm honestly not sure why I haven't been blogging lately. I thought about it before writing this post and really can't come up with a reason at all. I once read a quote by someone I can't remember now that went something like "To write means to write." I guess it could be said about anything because I think I remember this same thing happening back when I was a musician. For some reason the ball can get rolling in either direction and lately my ball has rolled right off the laptop, over the sewing machine, and onto the sofa!

Soccer Trophy

I've been pretty blog MIA lately because life has been really busy. Here is a drive by post about my little soccer extraordinaire. Yes the coach did tell him he was the fastest kid on the team and all of the other parents told me that he was a natural. We went into this with the idea that we'd let him try all the sports he wanted but right now it's looking like he is a natural at soccer. I guess it's in the genes.



Curtis was so excited to get his team trophy and he now has it proudly displayed on a shelf above his bed. We were very blessed with two great coaches and a team full of really fun loving kids. While I'm sad to see the time of practices and games go, I can't say that I'm unhappy about the lack of team Mom responsibilities in my life right now.



Curtis on team Sounders Spring 2010

Happy Mother's Day

I woke up this morning (after sleeping in to an unheard of 9:15am) to a sweet little card and flowers from my boys.



I can't even remember what it was like to not be a mother now and I wouldn't change my life for all the world. I feel so blessed to have my two little guys in my life and to be able to capture moments like this.



Happy Mother's day to all of the mother's out there!

A Day Late

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Thoughts on Solitude

I'm struck by how crazy human existence is. The things we do, sometimes, seem down right insane to me. I read about people who trek out to far remote places and I find myself craving that kind of distance from society at times.

My life seems full of other peoples needs. I think that is why I steal 'me time' whenever I can, regardless of the inevitable guilt that comes with it (deserved or not). I read about mountaineers sleeping in bags on the side of K2 and I wonder what it feels like to be so close to solitude. I know for me fear would be enormous, but I still wonder what that kind of 'communion with nature' would feel like if I could get over any of the logical or illogical fears that would be involved.

I find that I myself cycle through my desires for solitude and community pretty regularly and unfortunately I think I feel lacking in both most of the time. Right now as I find myself envious of those mountaineers, I daydream about all of the amazing realizations that I believe I could come to in such a situation.

Spring Break Beach Vaca

So I've been busy with other things the past two weeks and haven't posted the photos from our Spring Break vacation at Melbourne Beach, FL. We found the hotel through a recomendation from a friend of mine from church and it was darn near perfect for us. The boys didn't mind sleeping on the pull out sofa at all so Curt and I got a King sized bed with ocean view all to ourselves! Both boys were so well behaved and we all had such a fun time on the beach and in the hotel pool and hot tub. The ocean was still a little too cold to actually swim in, although crazy Curt couldn't help but take one dip, but we didn't feel like we were missing out on it at all since we were so busy enjoying the rest of the activities.

When we left the beach we drove over and spent the day at the Brevard Zoo. This zoo is much bigger and nicer than our local Cen FL zoo and we had a great time there together. The boys each picked out a stuffed giraffe as a souvenir and two weeks later they still both ask to sleep with 'Tip Top' and 'High Top' the giraffes.

All in all I'd say it was a big success as our first family vacation with all four of us and we definitely are planning more at this same hotel in the near future.

Here are some photos for you to enjoy.



Clark practicing in the room.




"What do you mean the sofa turns into our bed?"




Clark loves the beach!




Here we are relaxing in the room with lunch after a morning on the beach.




Curt buried the boys in the sand much to their delight.




The smiles on our faces say it all! I love the beach almost as much as I love my family!

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual stolen from Soulemama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

The Love (and Fear) of Motherhood

There is an anxiety that grows over me, like a shadow that tilts and widens as the sun goes down. When my children were babies I thought that my anxieties about them would go away with time, and yet that has proven to be untrue. As I find myself waking in a sweat from a nightmare about my poor little boys being hurt in a terrible accident, I begin to realize just how deep my love and fear for them has grown.

Really the growing depth of my love for them echoes the growing fear I have for their safety. I find myself staying home so as to avoid stress-filled wrestling matches with 5 year old in hand and 2 year old on hip in crowded busy parking lots. I feel my teeth clench and my shoulders rise up to my ears as my eyes dart to and fro at the playground trying to follow the impulses of two young boys surrounded by such fun, and dangerous, equipment. Even when we stay home, I find myself calculating the damage done to their little growing brains from each moment of time spent in front of the TV or video game system. I count how many servings of fruits and veggies they have consumed and give myself extra 'good-mother' points if they were raw. I beat myself up for being anything less than engaging and present with them every moment of everyday, knowing all along that these expectations of myself are impossible.

As time goes on, this creeps into my subconscious, and the dreams get scarier and even my daydreams seem to have taken on a rather scary and obsessive quality. If my child was a newborn, or perhaps even 6-12 months old, I'm sure a doctor would diagnose me with postpartum depression, but alas, my children are now considered a toddler and a preschooler and this overwhelming fear must be something more than fluctuating hormones and breastfeeding surges.

I can't honestly blame this on the 'Mommy-wars' or the judgment of my peers either. I find myself surrounded by supportive and like-minded women for the most part, and I think most of the judgment I am feeling is coming from within. I don't pretend to be a psychologist, and I'm certainly not going to expound on any number of reasons why I might believe that I have become to doubt my own value and ability as a mother, but it does seem that I subconsciously don't feel that I am measuring up to my own expectations.

What I do know is that I care and I try and I love. I wish that was good enough for that inner critic. I wish that I could put my life and the lives of my children fully in God's hands. I wish it was easier for me to focus on the successes instead of the failures. So I'm putting this out there. My revelation for the night is that I can now see that this stress/fear/anxiety has reached a level that I am not comfortable with. I know that there is nothing false about hope and I will continue to hope for relief.

{this moment}

{this moment} inspired by Soule Mama- A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Easter 2010

Happy Easter Everyone!

Easter Bunny!

There is a local community Spring egg hunt right outside of our neighborhood that we try to go to every year since Curtis loves a good egg hunt.




This year it was a little stormy out, but we headed out anyway and got about an hour of good Spring fun in before the rains came.



Curtis has never ever been shy with the bunny or Santa or any characters he has ever met.



Unfortunately I can't say the same for Clark. LOL!

I love Spring and Easter time so much. The weather here is beautiful 90% of the time and we have so much fun family time planned.

Stay tuned for more posts which will include but not be limited to a beach vacation, Easter on a friend's mini-farm, and Kindergarten registration!!!!

Vegan Night

I have spoken some here on my blog about my dietary goals. You might know by now that I am taking baby steps towards a healthier diet for my family and I, which will also in turn be healthier for our planet. My wonderful husband, after reading some information I gave him, has agreed to also take his own baby steps. So now I am researching and trying new meals for us in correlation with these goals. I have a goal of being vegan for 3 dinners a week and Hubby darling has agreed to only eat meat (chicken or fish) 3 dinners a week. So here is our first Vegan night, congratulate us!



I decided to try my hand at frying up some tofu and it turned out pretty good. Both of my sons ate a piece and Clark went back for seconds. I also made some whole wheat pasta and added some oil and some veggies sauteed in garlic. My plate is the one with the spinach salad and the broccoli. There are a lot of changes my husband is willing to make, but spinach and broccoli are still not on this list.



My boys both got a small plate of pasta (do I have the only children on this earth who don't like pasta), some fried tofu, a pickle and a small bowl of apple sauce. I am feeling very good about this meal for my kids. They don't really eat much meat in the first place so the biggest hurdle with helping them towards our goals is the pickiness of these two boys. Getting more fruits and veggies into these two boys has been a challenge to say the least and I am really happy with our progress.

Right now the only meat my boys eat is either in the form of nuggets or sandwiches. The nuggets will probably be a pretty easy thing to eliminate, but the sandwiches are another story. I'd love to hear some new ideas for lunch box/picky boy friendly vegetarian lunches. My boys don't like nut butters, so this really does make it a little more of a challenge packing lunch boxes.

So I am now congratulating myself on yet another baby step towards my ultimate goal. Breaking this goal down into these smaller more attainable goals has really helped us to be even more successful, and on top of that, feel the joy of this success on a regular basis...and really who doesn't want to feel joy regularly? I think one of the biggest lessons I have learn so far in my early thirties is to take baby steps toward any goal. In my experience I have found that in my exuberance for an issue I tend to jump 'both feet' into it, only to find myself having to start all over again at a later date. I can't say exactly why breaking a goal down into smaller steps seems to equal more success for me, but I can say that so far it has been true for me and I am very happy to have figured this out.

Vegan Raw cookbooks!

I so want to win one!

Picky vs. Not Picky

My older son is a really picky eater. I think he gets it from his Daddy, who has actually been making really great strides towards eating a more balanced diet recently. There are several different types of picky eaters and my son is really pretty maxed out on the scale. He is one of the only children I know who doesn't like applesauce or raisins or bananas or any fruit at all really. We spend more time than I'd like struggling to get him to have one bite of a fruit or veggie at each meal. The whole thing can be frustrating and exhausting to say the least, especially when I consider myself to be pretty experimental when it comes to food.

This is why when my second son was born I just kind of assumed he'd be the same way. You can imagine my thrill when Clark began eating bananas at the young age of 1. Then we tried applesauce and raisins and green beans and watermelon etc etc etc. He liked them all. I have felt my heart leap each time he eats a new fruit or veggie without any struggle at all.



So here we are today...Monday. This hasn't been a great Monday for several reasons (daylight savings, personal issues, health issues, etc etc etc). So when Clark asked for some of my blackberries and strawberries at lunch today I figured, what the heck. I was near tears when he woofed them down and asked for more!



Yesterday I began part three of my dietary changes. I spent the last two weeks being meat free and the two weeks before that were spent adding many fresh fruits and veggies into my regular diet. Now I am embarking on the third phase of the plan, which is eliminating processed sugar. I have done this before with great success and fallen off the wagon, so to speak. So here we are enjoying our dessert of fresh blackberries and local strawberries. What a thrill to finally have a family member to share my love of fruit and veggies with!!!

My Soccer Prodigy

Guess who scored the first goal of the first game of the season for his team?



It's just too bad today's practice has been rained out because he really loves playing so much. He asks me everyday, "How many more days until soccer?"




Coach says he is a natural. I seriously had to blink tears away when I watched my first born score his first soccer goal. I love this kid soooo much and I am so proud.

Thursday Mornings

Thursday mornings are my favorite weekday morning for many reasons. This is really the only morning of the week that the boys and I really relax. Since there is no school on Thursdays for us, we get to stay in our PJ's all morning and hang around the house. For me this means cup after cup of tea and reading bits and pieces of the newspaper and the internet in between preforming lego space ship repairs and breaking up sibling rivals. Inevidably, my boys will ask to do a craft.

I am definitely a member of the school of mother's who let their children determine the rhythm of the day. Being a 'type A' Virgo, I do enjoy my schedule, but I also really have come to love these boundless thursday mornings and the feeling of freedom that they bring.

One rainy Thursday morning not long ago I pulled out the fabric paints that I bought on clearance at Joanne's and searched through the drawers for plain t-shirts that the boys could paint. They had fun both painting the shirts and afterward cleaning up in the bath.






This morning I opened up a package of Halloween themed foam stickers that, once again, I bought on clearance after the holiday. Target and Joanne's are my two favorite stores to hit the day or two after a holiday for mark downs. Young boys really don't care if they are dressing skeletons in pumpkins in the middle of March. So here we are on another rainy Thursday morning sitting around in our PJ's and really enjoying the slow pace of the day. I remind myself more and more to enjoy these slow times since with Curtis' new soccer team and his ever nearing entrance into Kindergarten (don't even talk about it), soon these leisurely Thursday mornings will for sure be a thing of the past.