Better Look

Here's a better look at my henna belly.

Henna Belly

Yesterday I found out that one of the midwives I'm interested in talking too was going to be at a baby fair in downtown Orlando. So I drove out in the torrential rain after Curtis was napping and checked out the fair. Unfortunately I only got to talk to the MW assistant since she was off catching a baby, but one cool thing was that a doula was there advertising her services and giving free henna belly tattoos. I decided WTH, and got one. It's not a great pic but you can get an idea of what it looks like (and how big I'm getting). After all I've learned about how a message or blessing affects the food and drink we eat I decided to get a message of love with some heart shaped vines to send some love to my boy inutero. I think it turned out pretty cool and it is supposed to last 2-3 weeks. I probably never would have paid for it but since it was free and I was in the right place at the right time it was a fun thing.

T

toddler poncho

I finished this knit toddler poncho the other day. It will be a Christmas gift for a neice. I am desperatley trying to make all of our Christmas gifts before Oct 1st so I don't have to worry about them once I'm 8+ months preg. This ponch was easy. I added a small button and didn't seam it up all the way in the front so it can go over heads easier but otherwise it's just two rectangles, CO 30 stitches and knit for 16 inches each. It's a nice soft slightly varigated purple yarn.

I've finished my own poncho in crochet for this Fall/Winter but I never took a pic. Once I get DH to take a pic of me in it I'll post that. Right now I'm working on knit booties. I plan to make one pair for a friend and one for my little boy inutero.

Tara

Belly on Vacation

Here's what my belly looked like on vacation last weekend. My MIL and her DH came into a little money and took the whole family to a resort in Daytona Beach for 2 nights. Curtis had a blast both on the beach and in the many pools they had. We also had fun playing skee ball in the arcade and won some neat little prizes. No one got sunburned and Curtis slept in a big boy bed in his own room in the hotel for both naps and night. We had a two bedroom suite and I was amazed at how easily he went down in the hotel bed. I guess he's ready for his big boy bed.

We tested out some green paint we had left over on his new room but it was too dark so we'll have to go paint shopping this weekend. There is only one window in that room so we want something lighter. Curtis keeps asking for yellow so I guess we'll see about that. I'm sure we'll make our deadline of having him moved in and in his big boy bed by the time preschool starts. The computer is moved and the old computer desk went out to the curb since it was already broken in a couple places. All that is left is the CD cabinet in there and I'm still not sure where that will be moved to. He'll keep the guest bed as his new bed and the dresser in there for his clothes. His Paw Paw (MIL's DH) is probably going to make a small little table and stool for him to also have in there to play or color on. We will move all his sports themed decorations over and keep the crib and changing table in his old room for the baby. That room is blue and I'm going to put up a few underwater themed decorations up for the baby. After that all that is really left is to get an infant carseat since we got rid of the one Curtis used. I feel much better about our progress now-a-days.

T

breakfast of yarn

Here's something I whipped up a while ago as a toy for Curtis. He likes to make egg sandwiches and "feed" them to me. He also thinks it's super funny to put the "bacon" in the "juice" cup and then say a really emphatic "YUCK". I couldn't find the second bacon I made but I wanted to show this anyway. I thought it was a cute idea to make food in crochet. I got the egg pattern in a pattern-a-day calendar but the rest I made up.

Weighty Issues

First off, 66 hots dogs is insane. I can't believe we actually have a contest each year and people put 66 hot dogs in their bodies. I did eat a hot dog yesterday at an Ole Time Fourth Celebration in Winter Park, FL. One was enough for me (combined with the chips and watermelon and lemonade). I just shiver with disgust when I see news of the contest and the men who eat that much at once. Really one is bad in itself considering what a hot dog really is.

We also went to a friends for a pot luck yesterday evening and I ate like a pig on such great food. Curtis had a blast with his best buds Cece and Nicholas and we all had fun chatting and eating. Afterwards we sat on the end of our driveway and got to see some awsome fireworks. People in our neighborhood and surrounding neighborhoods really go all out and buy some seriously professional fireworks to put off. Curtis didn't like the really loud ones but he did like the sparkly ones and had fun watching even if he was up way past his bedtime and very sleepy. This pic is what we looked like watching them.

Now I weighed myself this morning and was quite surprised. At 21 weeks I've gained 18 lbs total. This is surprising since I only gained 26 lbs total with my first pregnancy. It's looking like I've gained 5 lbs in 3 weeks. It worries me some, especially since I feel hungry all the time. I eat a lot now-a-days and it's not always what I should be eating. I obviously have a tendency towards high blood glucose and have no right to be eating donuts and cookies and such. I have very little will power and whenever I go to a cook-out or pinic and see all the great desserts and snacks I can't stop myself. My baby is so important to me and I don't want to do anything to harm him and yet I keep eating and eating. I feel so guilty. When I saw that # on the scale today I made a pact with little baby boy (Wesley, Clarke, ???). I came home and ate high protein for lunch. I hope I can keep this up. I will be taking the GTT again soon and I don't really know what to expect. My boy's health is most important and I need to keep that forefront in my mind. A girlfriend of mine who was due the day after me with twins lost her two boys a couple days ago. It hit home for me and now I feel like I need to get serious about my diet. I excersize regularly still and get plenty of rest so all that is left on my part is diet. I MUST do better no matter what picnic, BBQ, holiday comes by.

Tara

Progress

Things are progressing here.

Our 2 day plumbing job turned into a 4 day job that finished this morning around 11am. Everything looks good but Curtis and I have been feeling a little nuts being stuck here for almost 4 days. Plus add the chaos of having men in my house cutting and working and all of my cupboards had to be emptied. A couple of holes were cut in walls but they patched up nicely and were in very subtle spots (like inside a closet). Overall I'm happy with the work but unhappy with the lies. On Sunday they told me they had 1/2 a day left. Well they worked all day yesterday and half a day today. I think they should be able to estimate better than that and they were just trying to tell me what I wanted to hear instead of breaking the bad news to me. Remember my water is turned off this whole time and I'm a preggo who pees a lot. There were other things they down right lied about to make me happy when I'd rather just hear a disappointing truth first thing. Needless to say tomorrow we are celebrating our independance and indoor plumbing.

Also about our pool. I did take some advice and took a sample to a pool store. What happened was I got algae (not sure how) and killed it on my own but then there was/is dead algae in my pool making it cloudy. We are running the pump longer now during the day and cleaning the filter often and hope to have clear water soon. The good news was that all the levels checked out fine, so I must be doing the chemicals right. I had no idea you had to be a chemist to own a pool like this. It's been a learning experience that I'm sure will continue.

So that's my update for those reading. I hope everyone has a happy fourth and enjoys the day off, if they get it. We are looking forward to a BBQ at a friends house tomorrow afternoon and some quality family time tomorrow morning.

T

slacker blogger

I've not been blogging much. I'd like to blame it on this wicked head cold I have but that just started yesterday. I slept so awful last night and personally think there might not be a whole lot more worse than being sick while pregnant and a mom to a 2 y.o.

I've been reading some development books since Curtis has taken a liking to kicking me a lot lately and it seems the consensus is that the 'terrible twos' really start at two and a half. I feel for the little emotional guy trying to understand this crazy mixed up world, but there isn't much more frustrating than going round and round with a two and a half year old who is angry about something. He seems to be learning how to deal with anger slowly, which I assume is normal and to be expected. We seem to be either having a blast or having a big fight now-a-days and nothing in between.

Also, since I'm whiney today, I also feel frustrated since I can't get this new swimming pool right. We put it up a few weeks ago (a long lost internet pal sent it to me as a gift) and we were loving it. Then we swam on Sunday only to wake up Monday to green water. I've put in chemicals and run the pump but still it's cloudy. I bought a big brush thing and did that to the walls and floor both yesterday and today with what little strength I could muster and I'm really hoping it goes back to normal. Who knew pools were so hard to figure out? It's like science and I'm no scientist.

We've knocked out lots of tasks from our pre-baby list recently and I am feeling good about the state of things here. Unfortunately we recently found out our house needs to be re-piped. This is expensive and frustrating since in the 3.5 years we've owned this house we've had to get a new A/C unit, new roof, and now this. Luckily we got the house cheap or I'd be extremely frustrated. Once the pipes are done (this weekend) I'm diving back into changing this office room into Curtis new 'big boy' bedroom. I hope to have him in it by August before his preschool starts. The baby's room will be easy since everything stays except some of the toys and decorations. I can't wait until Curtis is in his 'big boy' bed so I can crawl in with him in the early morning hours.

Tara

all about me

This is what I looked like yesterday afternoon at a little over 16 weeks.

I've been dealing with health issues of late. I failed my 1 hour gtt by 2 points. I thought I had passed since no one called me but it turns out they changed the cut off and I would've passed with last years cut off, but not this years. I reluctantly agreed to the 3 hour test and it was awful. Seriously awful. I was sick and threw up and spent the 24 hours after the test feeling awful. I assumed I would fail and was surprised when I called two days later to find out I passed. Now I'm worried, as I believe they will want me to take it again at 25 weeks. I plan to decline this time. I wanted to decline last time and I tried to listen to my gut, but my MIL and DH talked me into taking the 3 hour test. This time I am just going to decline and hope there isn't a fight. I will check my sugars with my monitor and do just about anything else besides this test. Yes, it was that bad. It messed up my body chemistry so much and I don't believe it was good for me or my unborn babe.

Otherwsie I feel pretty good lately. A couple of things bug me here and there (blurry vision, low back ache, heartburn), but nothing major really. I did begin a mild panic when I realized it was June and we haven't done anything to our house that we had planned. I need to move furniture out of the spare room, paint it and set Curtis up in his big boy bed there before August (my goal). Also we have this above ground pool sitting in it's box for two summers now and I really want it to get set up ASAP. Let's hope DH and I get motivated in the next couple of weekends to get some of this stuff taken care of before Curtis starts preschool in August.

T

The good, The bad, and the Beautiful

The good - I'm no longer sick at all. I feel pretty good most of the time and have even felt the baby move a little here and there. I am getting an u/s to see the baby again and find out the sex for sure next week.

The bad - I failed my 1 hour gtt by 2 points. Last year the cut off was 140. This year they changed it to 135 "to catch more borderline cases". I scored 137 and the computer didn't flag it since it was still set to 140 as the cut off. I spent 2 weeks thinking I passed it only to go in and have the MW tell me I had to go have the 3 hour test done because of those 2 measly points. I'm trying hard not to dread the 3 hour test and thinking of it as a way to get lots of knitting done. I would like to have Christmas gifts done by my b'day (late Sept) so this could be a productive morning even if it involves fasting for a long time and 3 blood draws.

The Beautiful - This is what Curtis now does when you ask him to smile for the camera (he had just come in from playing with the hose so that's why he's wet). He's super cute as always and keeps me on my toes. We are in the two's for sure but even with the stuggles over independence, we still have some great times and I love nothing more than watching him learn and grow more and more each day.

T

Smoke in our eyes

Not a great pic but....Curtis was at his cousin's b'day party and she is very girly. He ended up enjoying the feathered boa and fancy pink microphone a lot. MIL said he looked like a young Elton John!

My throat is dry and I'm finding it hard to breathe. We've been stuck inside for two days because of the smoke. There are something like 80k acres of forest on fire in GA and FL right now and the subtropical storm is blowing the smoke on us. It's so gross feeling and Curtis and I hate being couped up indoors.

Tara

check out my big guy

So we're not 100% sure since it's so early but there is a good chance my hunch was wrong and this one's a boy. We'll be sure at the next ultrasound at 20 weeks but I'll be surprised if it's not a boy because what I saw looked very boy to me and the tech agreed.

He's measuring big by a full week and they may move my due date up. I guess I make big babies, but I have no idea why since Curtis is small now and I've never been big. Otherwise the tech thought it all looked fine and we'll just wait until the MW confirms everything on the 24th.

Life is great!

Tara

PS - No diabetes so far...fingers crossed it stays that way.

Bugs

My son's new obsession is the roley poley. He really loves all bugs and we get these cool books from the library that are really for older children about bugs and their life cycles and such and have a blast looking at all the cool close up pictures. Around here the roley poley is probably these easiest to find bug that doesn't bite. Curtis gets super excited to have one crawl on his hand or arm as you can see in the picture.

Treasure Map

Here is my treasure map. This is organized on a website I frequent. The timing has to do with astrology, which kind of goes over my head, but the point is to make a creative map of all the things you intent for in the next year.

I was drawn to the pic of the penguin and baby and within a few days a friend loaned me a movie called Happy Feet with a bunch of penguins in it. That's my first one!

Tara

Easter family photo

Here we are at church on Easter. Curtis really doesn't like posing for pics but this one turned out ok.

T

Hunting for eggs

My son loves Easter egg hunts. Curt and I joke that they aren't really hunts so much as collections since the eggs are usually just scattered about, but Curtis gets so excited and has so much fun. Over Easter we went to two organized hunts in towns nearby and ended up doing several of our own in our backyard. Curtis had so much fun and was so cute and excited while running around "searching" for eggs. We may have found his favorite holiday yet.

T

still sick

This is so much worse than when preg with Curtis. I swear it must be a girl doing this to me. I try so hard to remain grateful but I'm so sick and tired and not much helps and I feel so guilty because I can't cook for my family like I used to or play with my son like he wants.

Please tell me this doesn't last much longer.

My MW appointment went ok. I have to take the gtt early since I had diabetes last time. I'm very upset and nervous about it. I don't want to take it and fail because I will have to do the stupid diet and finger pricks so much longer. More importantly I will feel like such a failure. My diet sucks right now since I can hardly eat anything besides carbs and meat. I started taking my juice plus again hoping that helps but I really can't wait to get to the part where I am able to eat normal again and not puke half the afternoon/evening away.

On top of that I have a questionable vein in my leg. It came out during the end of my first preg but it's already bad now at 8 weeks. They MW has me wearing compression stocking which are very hot in spring/summer florida weather.

I don't know why or how but I already have a small belly. Guess I didn't get those ab muscles quite as tight as I thought I had. I'm very surprised at how big the belly is this early and I'm busting out of my normal pants at only 8 weeks. I am trying desperately to be mindful and appreciative of every moment of this much wanted pregnancy but this sickness is making that a bit difficult.

I'm sorry to complain so much. I am still super happy and think this will be a perfect baby and even pregnancy. I'm just struggling in several physical and mental (hormonal) areas right now and needed to vent. I'm sure I'll be writing about how great I feel in just a few days!

T

How we met

For some reason I feel compelled to write the story of how I met my husband.

I graduated from college in the winter of 1999. It had been a tough year for me but I still graduated cum laude and was pretty proud of myself for completing school and also making major changes in my life. See that same fall I had been in the hospital for 3 days with a bleeding stomach ulcer brought about by poor diet and drug and alcohol use. After getting out of the hospital I remained partly sober (more on that later) and finished school up while looking for a new place to live. The place I was staying at was with 3 roommates that were not great influences and we were all pretty much going our separate ways anyway.

So I found a roommate who was younger than I was and had an apartment already. She was an ok rommate but we just didn't click really. The building had walls like paper and I could hear way too much from the frat type boys living all around us day and night. I slept with earplugs and planned to figure something else out after graduation.

When I graduated I was working as a waitress of sorts at a greek restaurant. It was PT and helped pay the bills but I did feel like it was time to get a "real" job. I had fallen back onto drug use only twice in the months since my hospital stay and I also felt like working two jobs might keep me so tired and busy that I wouldn't find myself in situations where drugs were available.

So I found out from a friend about a job that was temp grading proficiency tests for high schools across the country. The job was only during the school year and required a college degree so I applied. I can't explain why but I just had an overwhelming feeling that this job would change my life. I assumed that it was going to lead to some great career eventually in the education field.

I passed the interview process and was asked to come aboard the team along with several other 'newbies'. This was a strange job but the hours worked for my night job since we finished at 4pm everyday and it did add extra money to my bank account. We were trained and then sat at desks in a room not unlike a high school classroom. We read essay after essay (since I was on that team with my English degree) and gave grades on a scale of 1-5. The job was monotonous and tedious and every other nice word for boring out there. There were times I would stare at the point on my pencil and seriously consider poking it into my hand in order to get an ambulance ride out of the place. I still had a feeling the whole time I was being trained and began work that there was something about this job that would change my life. It was a powerful feeling that I couldn't ignore but I didn't really do anything about it either.

I do remember the first time I saw my future husband. He was wearing a Nirvana t-shirt and I wondered if he had good taste in music since I was a big nirvana fan all through college (and beyond). A few days after noticing him he came up to me during a break and introduced himself and I was surprised that his name was Curt. I found it ironic since that was also Kurt Cobain's name and I was drawing this Nirvana connection to him at the time. We chatted akwardly that day and off and on for several days further. We exchanged email, addresses and emailed each other samples of our poetry since we learned that we were both big fans of poetry. This came about since he was reading a Charles Olsen book one day and I came up to him to talk about it and he was surprised I even knew who he was. Oh how I wish I had saved those early emails between us and could go back and laugh about how cute they were.

So one week we were behind on our grading and they offered for anyone who wanted extra hours to come in on a Saturday to work. I was working over 50 hours between my two jobs but was still thinking it was best to stay busy and make lots of money so I accepted the extra hours, as did Curt. I would do anything at the time to stay out of my terrible apartment too so it was just more of a reason to take the extra hours. It was that Saturday during our first break of the day that we chatted and he convinced me that we should ditch the rest of the day of work and go out to lunch. I was totally game and we went to my fav deli up the road from the University. I remember getting the Montclair which is a veggie burger and smoking a half a pack of cigarettes since I was so nervous about being out with him.

I was pretty hurt still from a rough break up about 3 months prior to this (a whole other story) so I was very reluctant to have a boyfriend at the time. I was up front with Curt about this and he said he was fine with us just being friends. He tells me now that he did not want to just be friends at the time but the guy is just so polite that he couldn't be mean about it. We took hiking trips with his dog (now our dog Sebastian), went to my favorite Chinese buffet restaurant, and talked on the phone a bunch. Then we finally decided to have a first date. I'm not sure how he convinced me but I was already falling in love with him at the time so I did agree. He came to my crappy apartment with yellow daisy's (he remember me telling him yellow was my fav color) and took me to Ruby Tuesday's for dinner. I am not a girl of fancy tastes so for me Ruby Tuesday's is a pretty nice restaurant if a chain, but still we had some good food and conversation. We couldn't decide what to do next. We were both freshly sober (he several months more that I was at the time) and it's not that easy to be a sober 20-something on a Saturday night. We decided to try a mini golf (putt putt) place but they said it was too late for golf. They were still open for a litte while so we played skee ball (one of my favorites) and some video games. We used our skee ball tickets to get some plastic vampire fangs that I still keep and cherish as a token from our first real date. The rest of the evening is locked into my valt and will not be shared but it was magical and Curt was nothing but a gentleman the whole time.

So it was on March 15, 2000, a little over 7 years ago. Who would have known that we would have lasted this long and on top of it be even stronger and more in love than before? During the next several months Curt helped me to quit smoking, which was something I had tried to do so desperately over and over. He also helped convince me that I didn't need my night job and after quitting it I was so much happier, especially since I had a nice guy to spend the evenings with. Eventually the state in which I was living became impossible and I moved to my own apartment. This was supposed to be great but I spent so much time at his place that I ended up breaking my lease after 6 months and we moved in together. We were happier than ever and eventually decided to move out of town. It was then that I found a link online that lead both of us to our seasonal jobs at Yellowstone Nat. Park. We had an awsome road trip in 2001 and a great experience working out in the park. When our jobs were over we found ourselves here in FL and have been living here happily ever since.

I am not trying to sound cocky but I truly don't know any couples that have as loving and caring a relationship as we do. He is my lover and my best friend and I feel so grateful and happy to have shared so much with him. He is an awesome father to my son and always protective of us both. I pray that we will have many more years together to share our love and friendship.

T

so sick

Things have gone downhill here over the past couple weeks. I've been so tired and so sick and while I'm grateful for these intense signs of pregnancy I'm so exhausted and ready for some normal again. I can't eat much and the things I do eat don't even really taste great. I puke at least once a day and sleep something like 10-12 hours a day total. I remember feeling better by around 10 weeks with Curtis so I guess I only have a few weeks more of this but it feels like forever. I'll be back sometime with a happy I feel better post I'm sure.

Tara

Things are good here in the bathroom

Thanks for all the emails and phone calls of support. I do have some wonderful friends and family in my life and I should shift my focus to them instead of anyone else.

I've got a touch of stomach stuff due to early pregnancy. I'm pretty tired and sick most of the time and crave lemonade and Publix turkey subs all the time. I can hardly eat a vegetable which is kind of frustrating since I was trying to include 7 raw servings of fruits and veggies a day during this preg. I guess I'll just have to pick that back up in a month or so when my belly settles some.

Curtis is officially signed up for preschool starting in August at my church. At first I was so excited but now I'm wondering how it's possible that he is old enough for preschool already. Time flies you know!?!? I know it will be great for both of us and I look forward to him coming home each day and telling me all about it.

Otherwise we're just chilling out here. I told my Yoga/Pilates instructor in confidence that I was preg and she said I could keep taking the class but to go easy on ab work. So I just sit looking like a slacker when they do the pilates for abs so as not to stress my little baby growing in there. I'm hoping that I will have a wonderful happy and healthy pregnancy and childbirth since I have been doing this class for so long now and I'm also eating better than I did while preg with Curtis as well. My AP told me that since I was so healthy and balanced when I got preg that I will probably feel great most of the time. Mentally I feel pretty darn happy and blessed. As soon as this stomach settles I think I'll be pretty wonderful physically too.

Peace,
T