please eat something already

I'm having a rough morning. Curtis has started getting really bad about not eating and I know when I see the PED on Friday they will tell me the same things they always do about "keep trying" and "he'll eat when he's hungry" etc etc. I know there is nothing they can do but he has gotten so bad and I worry about it. I began wondering if he had a better mommy maybe he wouldn't be this way. Then I wondered if I should even try for another child when I can't even take care of the one I have properly. I love him so much and I don't mind him being a little picky but we have reached an all time pickiest recently. I bumped into some old friends at the gym and we all went to McD's for lunch afterwards today. While their kids sat nicely in highchairs eating chicken nuggets and apple slices Curtis ran around wildly pulling down Christmas decorations and refusing to eat even a french fry. I left feeling so discouraged.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and worried about his b'day party for an hour or two. I didn't even think about balloons and decorations and I guess we'll need those too. I'm afraid I'm going to forget something and have many lists all over then house. Then when I did fall asleep I had a really disturbing dream about my period and woke up to cramps so I guess it will be coming again soon. I didn't expect anything else but it's still a little discouraging.

So I guess I should stop giving you my bad attitude and go do something productive. I made a double batch of Martha's ice box butter cookies and sent some into Curt's work. He emailed that they are a hit and Curtis likes them a lot too. It's one of the only things he will eat anymore. He spits the raisins out of the oatmeal cookies now. ugh

T