still sick

This is so much worse than when preg with Curtis. I swear it must be a girl doing this to me. I try so hard to remain grateful but I'm so sick and tired and not much helps and I feel so guilty because I can't cook for my family like I used to or play with my son like he wants.

Please tell me this doesn't last much longer.

My MW appointment went ok. I have to take the gtt early since I had diabetes last time. I'm very upset and nervous about it. I don't want to take it and fail because I will have to do the stupid diet and finger pricks so much longer. More importantly I will feel like such a failure. My diet sucks right now since I can hardly eat anything besides carbs and meat. I started taking my juice plus again hoping that helps but I really can't wait to get to the part where I am able to eat normal again and not puke half the afternoon/evening away.

On top of that I have a questionable vein in my leg. It came out during the end of my first preg but it's already bad now at 8 weeks. They MW has me wearing compression stocking which are very hot in spring/summer florida weather.

I don't know why or how but I already have a small belly. Guess I didn't get those ab muscles quite as tight as I thought I had. I'm very surprised at how big the belly is this early and I'm busting out of my normal pants at only 8 weeks. I am trying desperately to be mindful and appreciative of every moment of this much wanted pregnancy but this sickness is making that a bit difficult.

I'm sorry to complain so much. I am still super happy and think this will be a perfect baby and even pregnancy. I'm just struggling in several physical and mental (hormonal) areas right now and needed to vent. I'm sure I'll be writing about how great I feel in just a few days!

T