Tuesday, September 19, 2006


Not doing well at all here. More ticks have infested. They came back and sprayed more this AM but it looks like we're going to have to buy a package where they come every other month for a while. Keith next door said he had the same prob and they just got worse not better until he scheduled regular sprays of the house and yard. It'll be $60 a month and that'll be tough.

I've never felt more defeated in my life. I'm not preg, Curtis woke with a cold yesterday, we have bugs, our roof died, our A/C died, my oven is still dead and I turn 31 tomorrow. I'm struggling and Curt can't help because he is also bummed about it all. Actually, he isn't upset at all about not being preg because he thinks it's still early and likes the "trying" best anyway, but he is also pretty bummed about the bugs. I went for a long drive last night at 9:15pm and rolled the windows down and played loud music and tried to quiet the storm in my mind. It didn't work too much but my friend Teri called this am and I talked to her for a while and she gave me a pep talk that helped some. It's usually easier to be logical with other people's problems and I kind of did the same thing for her back in July when she turned 34.

Anyway, I'm going to go burn some candles to get rid of the poison smell in my house and try to clean up a little. I still haven't been grocery shopping this week and have no idea when I'll get there. MIL wants to take me out tomorrow for lunch so we're meeting at Fazoli's since it was my choice. Otherwise, I plan to lay really low for a while.

Neil Young said, "It's hard enough losing with out the confusion of knowing I tried." and boy was he right.


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