Monday, September 18, 2006

TTC and AF and all that craziness

This has been one of the worst days for me this year. So much went wrong including my Curtis woke suddenly and unexpectedly sick with a cold, my dog and house are re-infested with ticks (this is our second infestation and these things are freakin bionic we can't get rid of them), I got a low temp, I got spot, and a ton of other little things along the way. At one point I started bawling crying and Curtis came over, looked at me, and started bawling too. He's been extra clingy due to the cold so we hugged and cried together and it actually made me feel a little better.

I POAS this morning to get a BFN and then spot came this afternoon. I saw my chiro this morning and he did some lower back adjustments that he said should help loosen the nerves in my reproductive area to help TTC. I'm scheduled for some accupunture a week from today and he plans to do it on my lower back and abdomin to help "open up" the area. I really love this guy because he's the only medical doc I've ever had that has really listened and cared. I hope what he does helps.

It's only been three months but now each time I get AF I feel like such a failure. I know each time we only have like 25% chance and that it is perfectly average to take this long but since I conceived Curtis on the second try I just feel like it must be something I'm doing wrong. I really didn't want a summer baby in FL. This is such a mind blow.

As I promised myself this next month will be different. I'm focusing on my love for DH and DS and our desire to grow our family and I'm taking the focus off of desperatley temping and checking myself etc. Of course I will be aware of these things, but I PROMISE myself for my own good to relax more about it.

Ok, I wrote a novel because I really needed to vent about this crappy day I had.


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