Thursday, August 31, 2006


Let's start this off with a cute pic of my little guy hanging with his three best friends.

I am in a spot right now and I really don't like it. In fact, I really don't like many people right now. Where are all the people I can relate too?

I have a good friend who I can pretty much relate to about almost everything but alas, she lives in Missouri. Unfortunately she is not moving to FL any time soon and I am not moving to Missouri, well, ever.

I have one close friend I hang with regularly here in FL but while she is laid back and nice and cool to be around and talk to, she has a few bad habits that I cannot understand. I try not to judge her but I am a firm believer that drugs and alcohol destroy lives and I hate to see her in denial about such things. So our friendhsip is what it is and nothing more. We are friends but will probably never be closer than we are right now.

I am a member of a message board that I have been on for over 2 years now. I am slightly obessed with the board and the women who post on it and unfortunatley several of them have views on certain topics which I disagree with strongly. There is a bit of a double standard on the board which I have come to accept but it pains me to hold my tongue so. I try to break from the board on a regular basis and find it has a grip on me and my boredom that I cannot easily break. I guess this is my addiction (the internet).

I have had issues with feeling outcast my entire life and I think I bring it on myself at times. Like when I obsess and check my "board" over and over reading post after post of negative defeatist attitudes. There are things I believe in passionately (the benefit of breast feeding, non-induced labor, avoidance of over use of chemicals like meds) that these women don't seem to find that important. I know I don't want a world where everyone agrees with me all the time but I also don't want a world where most people live a life that is completely against my beliefs. How do I rectify this? I have found blogs by women whom I respect very much, but I would also love to meet women like this IRL.

This has been one of my life long struggles.


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