bored?

Is anyone else bored? I mean I feel like I have nothing to look forward to, if that makes any sense. My DH gets all excited before his soccer games each week. I can see it in him and honestly I'm jealous. I go to my gym most week days and I do go to the park and shopping and such, but it feels like everything is a chore lately. I told DH that I think I'm nearing mommy-burnout. I spend so much of my week killing time with my son and desperatley trying to come up with ideas to keep us both busy and it's just not cutting it. I guess it doesn't help that my son is almost 20 months and very high needs. I do things for myself (working out, monthly nights out with my girlfriends, vegging out in front of the TV or computer nightly) but I still feel so bored. I feel so selfish for complaining because, for one thing I only have one child, and my DH doesn't necessarily work long hours and he does try to chip in around the house. I wonder if everyone else doubts thier ability to be a good SAH mother/wife. This is the best job I've ever had and yet I still feel like I'm not cutting it.

Tara

forgot

I forgot to mention that I finally gave Curtis a buzz cut. I've been toying with the idea for a while now. I hate it when his hair gets all sweaty and sticky so I just cut it on the longest setting our clippers have. I think it looks good and I'll never pay $ to have it cut by a salon again. Here's a look.

Tara

surrounded by sickness

Curtis is working on week two of a nasty chest cough. I did finally cave in and take him to the PED but she said what I thought. He just has a lingering cough. He's not sick really. So $15 co-pay was wasted and they didn't even have an samples to give me. Bahhh!

Curt was really sick earlier this week and actually stayed home from work and missed soccer yesterday. You know things aren't good when he does that. The doc was flaky with him and diagnosed him with allergies even though we are both sure it's not that.

So Curt is back at work today. His fever is gone but he still sounds all irritated in the throat. Hopefully it will not linger long. I keep waiting to get sick with all this illness around me. I'm washing my hands a ton, taking airborne most days, working out at the gym, and trying to eat healthy. I figure a good offense is the best defense.

Tara

worst day

I had the crappiest day yesterday. I'll tell you about it backwards. I woke up at 2 am after finally taking nyquil to fall asleep last night after 3 nights of insomnia and walked right into the bathroom door. We usually keep it open but DH closed it because....

Our toliet exploded on me before my shower last night and sprayed water all over me and my bathroom. It continued to make gurgling noises all night so DH closed the door to be able to sleep. He works a later shift today so he and Curtis are over at Lowe's trying to figure out how to fix it.

Before that I got my period.

Before that I taught the worst group of boys in Sunday School. I had to raise my voice several times and put one kid in time out about 5 times. I've never had a class like that before. Then I had to talk to his parents about him and they were kind of defensive. I hope they don't become regulars, as horrible as that sounds.

Before that my garage door broke and would only open and close if you held the button down, causing me to be late for Sunday School. DH has already fixed this prob.

Before that my DH abandoned me. We were supposed to go get haircuts for Curtis and I after his nap. Well I wanted to finish vacuuming and told them to wait outside for me. 5 min later I go out and they're gone. I kept checking on them and an hour later they show up. They were at our neighbors house. Apparently Curt forgot that quickly about the haircuts and went over to hang with Ken and Brandley to, "give me a break".

During that time I did a bunch of stuff. I wiped my fan blades (something I hardly ever do), I mopped (my old way, but it's better then nothing right?), wiped down my doors (I thought my friends were crazy for this one but I did get some smudges off), got all the cobwebs off the porch, and maybe a few other things.

I cried myself to a Nyquil induced sleep last night from all my frustration (and probably hormones).

Tara

all done

Well, it's official, I am no longer a breast feeding mother. It's been a little less than 48 hours since Curtis nursed last. I kept feeling like he was telling me he was done. He refused several times over the past two weeks and when he did nurse it would be a couple sucks and done. I think it's important that I listen to him, especially if I want him to listen to me. I feel both sad and gald. I'm confused and can't quite believe we're done. I keep trying to remember the last time he nursed really well, but I can't. I'm hoping this was the right thing to do. I love him so much. It's so hard to explain.

Here he is enjoying carvel.
T

Here we are watching the parade on the 4th of July. You probably can't see but Curtis has two fistfulls of candy. They threw it from the firetrucks and he had a balst collecting it for Mommy!!! ;)

monday

The gym went great this morning. Curtis seems pretty comfy there now and it's only been a week. I'm a little sad because he has started refusing to nurse during the day. I nurse him twice a day, once before nap and once before bed, but recently he won't take the boob before nap and asks for his binky instead. I think he is weaning himself and part of me is glad and part of me feels sad. Why would my little boy want that binky over his mommy? I'm wondering how much longer we will go. I can't even believe I've gone 19 months considering my goal was 6 months. I never would have guessed.

Curt started his new schedule today. Now he works 11-7 on Mondays and 7-4 the rest of the week. I think I'm gonna hate it this afternoon but this morning was nice. I went grocery shopping and left the two of them here. It was much easier w/o Curtis with me.

T

TGIF

The gym went much better today. Curtis threw a fit when I left, but when I came back to pick him up I snuck in and got to see him playing matchbox cars with another little boy. It was all boys in there today so it's no wonder he had fun. She said he really hardly cried at all. We pulled Curt's matchbox cars back out recently since I think Curtis can handle them better now w/o them being as big of a choking hazard. He absolutely loves them. I had bought a cake pan shaped like a car at a yard sale months ago, and I know it's early, but I think I'll do a car theme for his 2nd b'day party. I could make the car shaped cake and have matchbox cars as the favors for the kids.
Curt's work is having some problem with some employees (not him of course) and they are now changing things around. Now he has to work 11-7 on Mondays. I was really disappointed at first but now that I'm thinking of it more I think I will use that time for grocery shopping. I usually go on Monday and now I could leave Curtis home with Curt and it would be much easier. Then I could just go to the gym at 10:30 instead of 9:30 like I have been. It will still be hard doing Curtis' dinner and bath w/o Curt's help, but I guess since it's only one day a week I'll deal with it. We really like having dinner together and will miss that, but as I said, it's only once a week. Plus.....get this....the big boss came in from Atlanta to address the issues and make changes and gave Curt another raise!!! Nothing huge, but apparently only a few of them got raises to show how they are the ones that aren't causing problems. I guess a few people have been spoken to on several occasions and are still making the same mistakes. Curt came out of the surprise visit with no mistakes on his reports and a 4% raise starting in August. We are both so happy and now Curt really feels good about having another baby. I know it could take a while but I'm hoping it doesn't take too long to get preg because I'd like to avoid being preg in June, July, and August if possible. This is probably another thing, though, that I need to give up control on and just take things as they come.

T

hello there

The gym went better today. He wasn't even crying when I picked him up. She said he cried some but was much better than yesterday. Here's what I'm doing per my trainer's advice. Three days a week I do weights. Twice (M,F) I do upper body and once (W) I do lower body. I do 30 min of cardio everyday before the weights. I've been breaking it up with 15 min on the eliptical and 15 on the treadmill. Then on Tues and Thurs when I don't do weights I am on a hydro therapy bed. I was on it for the first time today and it's awsome. It's like a single water bed with a line of jets that shoot and run from toes to head and back, over and over. It's kind of like a massage. I left today with a kid who wasn't tear stained and nice massaged muscles so I'm in a good mood, even if I'm a little sore from working out.

T

Tara

poo

Check out what happened to us today. We're playing and I'm getting ready for my first day at my new gym. Suddenly Curtis is screaming and crying. I didn't see him fall or hit himself or anything. I hug him and he is hugging me hard and crying hard. I smelled something so I thought maybe his diaper is dirty and bugging him. Well, TMI but, he had a hard poo half in and half out. I rubbed his belly but nothing happened and he was crying so hard. I tried putting him on the potty thinking that position would help, but nothing. Finally he ended up over my lap as if I was about to spank him. I rubbed his back but ended up just getting TP and pulling the hard poop out of him! His little bum was all red. I'm guessing he was constipated. For lunch I gave him watermelon, a slice of chicken, and graham crackers. I think I'll give him juice and an apple when he wakes. I'm trying to think of things to help his poo soften up so if you know of anything please tell me.

At the gym I did an orientation work out with a trainer for an hour. I learned a lot of the machines and how to use them. I heard Curtis cry three times from the daycare area. The lady in there was Cuban and had an accent so she was hard to understand but from what she did say I take it Curtis wanted her to hold him the whole time. She said he got jealous when she held the little 6 week old baby in there. He smells like perfume now and it bugs me. I am pleased though that I was there for an hour w/o her coming and telling me I had to take him.

Curtis now says snack. It sounds like nack. He asks for one a lot so I feel like he's hungry but then he doesn't eat. He also has a bunch of words added recently. He says tanks for thanks (proud mama here), all done, get down, in there, and more I can't remember. Recently he's gone from just describing an object with a word ("doggie") to actually expressing wants and needs ("all done").

T